Monday, November 4, 2013

He is the Source of life

I woke up early yesterday with a heavy heart. Just blah. Nothing earth shaking had transpired and yet I just felt drained. You know that feeling? Like the life somehow had been sapped from me as I slept. 
I got up and went to church and still felt heavy. 
I worshiped, served, was challenged and fed but still... something hung there over the emotional door of my heart asking me to accept its pill.
I served lunch and took my nap hoping I would wake up alive again. 
Still it was there beckoning me to fall into a pit of self pity and blame.
We took an afternoon hike and enjoyed the beautiful time of year. Then took the little one for a date to DQ where we ate ice cream and played cards in the corner booth. It's her love language and her cup seemed to fill as we played. 
When I got home I took a long hot bubble bath. As I did I decided to play an old pod cast that I hadn't gotten to yet. And there it was.... The thing I couldn't put my finger on all wrapped up in a 40 minute message. 
"Codependency is when we plug into people places or things as the source of life....So when my life isn't going so great I blame _____ for being the source of my problems.
And When My Children are the source of my life... I use them to impress others.
Or When my Parents are the source of my life...I make decisions based on how they think or feel.
How about my spouse? When we make them the source of life we will blame them or try to control them.
How about waiting to be recognized by a boss or someone else I feel the need to gain the favor of but they continue to ignore me so I begin to find fault in them or manipulate them.
These are some of the examples the speaker gave...
And I knew it's what I needed to be reminded of.
When I am not taking personal responsibility to get my glass filled by the one who is my true source of life I will blame and feel offended and want to control every.single.time.

So this morning I wake with a new song of Thanksgiving that the Source of all Life dwells with me. He fills me with his presence and is the defeater of the enemy of my soul.
I am beyond blessed that the one who painted this picture above desires  to be my  closest friend. He wants to spend time with me.
That's kind of a heady thought.
If you are waiting to be recognized by people of this world remember that the only one who can truly fill those empty spots in your soul,every day, is the maker of this sky.
What a great way to start my week..
God is the source of my life... Not others.

This link below is one of my favorite songs right now....
I choose Jesus


  1. Oh, my. I got chills when I read this. Last week as I was driving the same route I drive every day, a word came to me. Codependency. I thought it was referring to my mom's behavior with my brother's long term drug and alcohol abuse. I thought, "maybe I need to bring this concept to her." Now I know that the concept was being given to me. I didn't think of this word in any other term but linked with alcoholism. This is something I needed to be convicted of today. Thank you.

  2. Hey Jami! Thanks for letting me know how God used my weakness to speak to another. Codependency is easy to spot isn't it? Unless it's in the mirror. Blessings on your head! Rose


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