Tuesday, April 9, 2013

One month without you here

How could we have known a year ago at Easter that it would be your last one on Earth?
How could we have known that you wouldn't finish out your first year of high school?
 Or ever learn to drive?
How could we have known all the lasts?
How?
Our hearts are torn as we try to learn how to live with the pain that your absence brings. It's one day of tears and the next of reasonable toleration of the grief. But it's always close to the surface ready to spring forth at one word mentioned that brings you back to our mind. We laugh at the memories of the good ole days. We cry knowing we don't get to make anymore.
It's out of order. Kids don't die. Not usually.. We hoped and prayed for a different outcome. But it was not meant to be. We know in our heads we were made for another place but in the parting there is such a ripping. A tearing out of hearts. Today I grieve our loss! I grieve your  departure again. I cry for my sister my brother in law their sons and mine. I mourn for a grandma and grandpa for cousins and friends who miss you.
 Today 1 month later we weep.
Still.
We know you are where we all want to be. We were made for eternity.
But tonight my tears fall for me not you. I know you are just fine. But I'm not going to be for a long time!

I found this song tonight. It brought me comfort.
(If you click on The reason for the world, it will take you there.)

The reason for the world

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