I am not obsessive about it.
I just like it.
And if something is out of order I feel better if there is a reasonable explanation why said object or person is that way.
Cause and effect... you know what I mean right?
The reason can justify the out of orderliness of the situation.
I see cancer in my job weekly.
And it's hard.
Especially when there is no reasonable understanding to why someone healthy and young would be plagued with a horrible cancer that has been aggressively attacking their body since their last visit.
It's troubling and messes up my whole orderliness and fairness factor.
It's out of order that my 14 year old nephew has been in the hospital for months at a time. Struggling to breathe with lungs that are damaged. All we ask is that he get to simply live a normal teenagers life.
But it isn't that way.
I don't like it.
I have a friend who has shared some difficult news that makes me so terribly sad. I have trouble understanding the fairness of it. I am asking God questions about why now. And finding myself fighting the urge to instruct him on how to proceed.
I have other friends who can't have children and the doctor's can't figure out why.
It's out of order.
I don't like it.
And yet it is the way of life.
None of us has a pass from it.
We are surrounded by unfairness and lack of order.
Whether we like it or not.
Whether it seems just or fair.
One of the most profound statements Jesus made to the Father in his last days on earth has become one of my most important in a long line of learning to be more like him.
When Jesus went into the garden the night before he gave up his life to be the offering of perfect love for every being that had ever and would ever be created he cried and spoke to his Father these words... Never the less, not my will but yours be done.
And that's the whisper I hear tonight.
It isn't about my likes or my sense of rightness.
It's about his will.
And my surrendering to it.
Even though the journey is painful.
He knows.Because he has walked the same road.
It's his will that needs to be accomplished here on earth not mine.
I believe with all of my heart that there will come a day when all order and Justice will be restored to the one whose kingdom has no end.
I believe that one day he will make all things right.
I believe that I can trust him to take care of all the concerns that press in on my heart.
Yes, I believe, that when I surrender to his Will I will be closer to being more like Jesus.
Never the less.... Not my will but yours be done.