Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Home I just want to go home

I wake with a stretch and a humph as I roll over to look at the time. I can feel my surroundings aren't familar and realize even as my eyes are barely open that I am away from my home.I smell campfire on my clothes remembering where I am.
As I roll back to center I murmur.." I just want to go home". And then the thought hits me like a thundering thud.

I'm not sure what home looks like anymore.

And I say aloud..." Although I'm not sure where home is".

Are Hard.
And Messy.
And sometimes Adventurous.

They never seem to be what I dream them to be.
I am a romantic to the core. I want to be joyful. I want to think of positive. And lovely. But far too often life is nothing like that. Sometimes we are dealt things that are not pretty to gaze on and we must in Faith believe there is something larger that we can't see. Something that is far reaching and preparing us for future hills and valleys.

As a child I knew nothing of hard. Life was cake. And I had all my needs met and most of my wants. I didn't worry about bills,death,disease,housing and relationships. I just lived. And my problems were tiny although they seemed big to my little brain.
I keep wondering how God looks at us.
It's hard to be us.
He knows it.
Because he formed us.
And he recognizes our eyes see here in front of us. And that's why he tells us to trust Him. And believe. To walk by Faith.

But really to God our problems are tiny. In light of his knowledge and understanding my momentary troubles are easy peasy for him.
And while I wait for him to clear a way.... I will praise.

And believe that he knows exactly what my real home looks like.
I think he may just be working on it right now. And it's going to be more beautiful than I could ever in my most romantic mind imagine.
I am trusting that he has my life figured out and when it jogs left instead of right I can follow the path knowing it's for a greater purpose.

And As I hear of the death of another saint I can't help but feel a bit of envy. They have finished strong and have now gone on to their final and ultimate home where there will be no more tears and disappointments. And we are left to mourn the loss of a loved one.
But while I'm here I want to live with the hope of a new tomorrow. A brighter day. Believing there is a place where I will finally be home.

And it will be grand.
I just can't wait to be home.

editors note....Tonight we mourn the loss with our friends and our family as they say farewell to their sweet loved ones.

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