As you may have noticed I changed the title of my blog.
When I started this 2 years and 262 posts ago I was at a different season then I feel like I am today. While I still feel very fortunate to have been blessed with the gifts God gives I feel like my life is described better these days by a molded heart.
The potter has been intensely shaping this heart for a very long time~ And I believe that as long as I live and breathe he will need to remold and reshape. It's a painful process but I have never felt like I'm in better hands.
Lately I have been thinking about his cup.
The Cup of suffering.
When he asks his disciples.... "can you drink the cup I am going to drink". matt 20:22
They respond with a "Yes we can"...
I must applaud the willing heart but
they had no idea what they were agreeing to.
The horror and heartbreak they were all about to experience as they would watch the one whom they believed to be the Messiah be cruelly beaten and executed in the most terrifying fashion.
And then after his Crucifixion they would be hunted down as criminals and brutally murdered.
Truly this is the question we must all answer....
Am I willing to drink from his cup?
Of course I don't know what all that means.
He doesn't disclose that.
It's part of the mystery of living by faith.
But if I say I am a follower then I must follow my leader.
Laying down my life as he did.
Giving up my quest for "happiness"
Having a peace that is not ruled by my circumstances.
In my heart I know this...
I will never be able to experience gain until I have sipped from the cup.
In my sipping a churning takes place in my heart that allows me to partake with him.
To try to understand with my feeble mind what it must have been like for him.
To have a seat at his table.
And in the process...
I am changed.
And that is gain.
The thing is,
It doesn't just happen once and then magically I am transported to bliss...
The making of a new nature.
And just like new birth..
It takes time
growth comes slowly
And I must learn to embrace it.
While all of our sufferings look different.(Frankly mine feel like Mickey mouse trials in comparison to many who have gone before me.)
But in the end I can stand with my brothers and sisters, those who walked with him and knew if he snored and if he actually liked figs(since he did tell that fig tree to wither up and die)!:)
The ones who boldly stood before kings and proclaimed Jesus Christ even to the point of death.
Those who willingly drank from the cup of suffering.
On that final day of judgement,
To stand with that crowd would be an honor!
That will be gain my friends
That will indeed be Gain!