Thursday, August 26, 2010

Parental Transitions

15 years ago when I was about to birth my first child I had NO idea what was coming.

It's good we come into things like marriage and child raising without full knowledge of all that will take place or we may never have dared to try.

Both are the best opportunities I have been given but they are also where most of my hard knocks come.

When I consider how I started with a helpless baby who required complete care.

And then I move to toddler where the words most often used are "do it myself"... but I am still right behind ready to catch them as they fall.

To them getting on that bus, and leaving for school where I have very little control over their responses and bruises during the day.

And now as they are developing into teens. I am having to transition into becoming less of an instructor, and more of a coach.

It's hard.


Treating those big kids like the young men and women they are becoming.

Allowing them to start setting the course for themselves.

Giving them space to take a path that is not as clear.... where I know they may scrape their knees...

Without shaming them or making them feel less confident about making a decision the next time.

Believing that what I have sown in them will not return void.

Admitting to them when I'm wrong and they are right.

Treating them as friends...Giving them the same hospitality as I do those people I invite into our home.

Serving my best to them.

Listening with my full attention
And eye to eye contact.

Giving them the assurance that they can make it in this world without my constant attention or presence. And yet, being present enough to let them know I care about them deeply and want to be in relationship with them.

It changes... parenting does.

It's not a pond,
but a river...

Free flowing with sharp curves.

Rough in patches and smooth in others.

Sometimes it gets deep and you think you're going to drown..

other times the water seems shallow and easy to wade through.

Sometimes that river splits and goes into a different direction

And at times the swirling water causes a whirl pool and spins in circles.

It's got movement and energy.

It's exciting and never stagnant.

It's ever changing and irreversible.

I think my mission today is to prepare something special for my young friends.

And then I'll

Invite them to our table and listen with my heart.

******Come back tomorrow and I'll share the special dessert recipe I made for them***


  1. between the addison road song and this beautiful...I mean BEAUTIFUL post...I've turned into a weepy old sap. Sometimes I come across posts that touch my heart in such a deep spot that I can't help but cry. Thank you for such true and wonderful words today Rose!

  2. Crying as I type-Thanks for the perspective. ..mine are two and 5months but I know its gone in a flash!

  3. This truth hit me today as the kids and I were driving home from school today. They are growing up into young adults and I'm having to transition as a parent. It's hard.
    Thank you for this post Rose. I sit here in tears facing my reality along with you...

  4. Rose, you have such a gift of putting thoughts into words. The transition you speak of is a really hard one for me. Thank you so much for the reminder of how our parenting should (and needs to) change as our kids grow up. Yours is a very timely word for me. Thank you!

  5. ROSE you are so gifted...I think I know why Jason fell madly in love with you...I do know why actually! :):) Thanks for the path you are leaving for others to follow in! Love ya!-Sharon


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