Wednesday, July 28, 2010

One weed at a time

I spent about 2 hours yesterday pulling out the weeds that had overtaken my little garden. This time of year is when they go nutso. I always try to grab them by the roots so they won't revisit me in 2 days.

Sometimes when I look at the whole patch of them I become overwhelmed to the point of wondering if I should just walk away and let the garden go for the summer.

If only I could sell them! I would be a rich woman!

But I know that if I don't start with one I will never be able to get this mess cleaned up.

So I begin....

I started thinking about weeds and my relationships.

Jason and I have been having some "interactions" lately. Some are the kind that make you feel good and some well....not so much.

We don't like to call them arguments, fights or ultra cations because that just sounds wrong. :)

The thing that we find is that often in the middle of our moments of intense communication it seems like we get to a point where one of us says to the other, "how do we get past this?"
It's not that either one of us really wants to be cantankerous or mean spirited.
It just gets a little ugly.
And... we want a resolution.

We want the outcome to look better than the way we entered the "disagreement".

The bottom line is usually what starts as one thing moves into something else completely. And in it we often realize that this is REALLY about the something else that was never resolved.

Can I get a witness to that?

Often in relationships we think it's about the obvious but if we are willing to dig a little deeper we may find it's about rejection or mistrust. Or maybe it's really about not feeling validated or appreciated. How about lack of communication or time?

Whatever it is, Just like weeding if we pull out the root it's much easier to take care of the problem. If we focus on the top of the weed it will pop up again and again.

Ahh yes... and there are seasons when those weeds feel so overwhelming it's hard to know where to start.
But.. If we don't start with one...
the whole garden may be overtaken.

The whole relationship could end up in shambles if we don't start with that One weed.

It's tough work...gardening is!

And relationships are even harder.

To know how to nurture, water, weed and care for someone can be somewhat daunting.
To really listen and apologize when my loved ones tell me how I have hurt them.

Without justification. Without pretense. Without defense.

I won't do it perfectly. But it's important for me to stay on top of the weeds that want to choke out the good crop that will soon be a harvest.

3 comments:

  1. Very well said, my dear friend!!! I agree with you, wholeheartedly! Do not grow weary in your "relationship weeding"...the result(a strong marriage to withstand life's storms)will definitely be worth the hard work!

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  2. Good luck with the "weeding"! I always appreciate your insight on this thing called life that we're all in together. :-)

    Now you can come and visit me on my blog!! I just started it, and this week I'm doing a giveaway, so come over and check it out!

    http://artfulaccents.blogspot.com/

    Loving the David Nevue version of "Come Thou Fount"...

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