Thursday, January 29, 2009

Boxed, Labeled and Shipped

What is it about expectations that make me crazy?!

Seriously, this might be the big issue that needs some serious therapy!

Maybe it comes from the fact that I had to deal with this all my life. I never have fully accepted it and after 37 years I wonder if I ever will!

Being a preacher's kid is not always the easiest place to grow up. Don't get me wrong there are some perks…

Like free food at Christmas.

But there is the down side to the situation….

It's called the unrealistic expectations that some people just naturally seem to have!

I think I referred to this back in my post

"Me a pastor's wife"?

It's this whole notion that someone in a leadership position is supposed to be my Savior.

When I am faced with unrealistic expectations this is what I do...
I start talking out loud to myself about the situation.

I do this because:

  1. I can understand exactly what I'm trying to say
  2. I don't have to worry that my confidence will be broken and
  3. It makes me feel like I have been heard in the end!

You should try it! Ha!

There are several things that occur to me as i process this:

A. I hate being put in a box!

B. I hate being labeled a name!

C. I hate being shipped out when I didn't live up to A or B!

So then God stirs me to consider this:

Who have I put in a box?

What name have I given them?

And have I in my head shipped them out because they didn't live up to the standard I had set for them. Maybe they hurt me really bad! Maybe what they did is not even justifiable!

It is so hard not to keep people in those boxes. In fact if you read the label it says exactly who they are. But when I take a closer look I realize that my name is written there too.

I too, need forgiveness.

I too, need to be released from the box.

I too, hate to be shipped on the train sent to no where.

So the lesson for me today was:

I will continue to fight against a sense of false guilt. It is not healthy to live with!

I also want to learn to let other's out of the boxes that I have assigned them.(Even the ones who place those huge expectations on me).

I want to learn to be more forgiving.(Even to people who label me incorrectly)

And the next time I am tempted to Ship someone out(or write them off)maybe I should instead peel off the label, open the box and set them free from my expectations of them.


  1. Oh honey, I would love to have U as my pastor's wife! It is our imperfections that make someone even more approachable, more true to life.Don't ever lose your true spirit, you know who you are in your heart.Stay true to that, God loves a honest and loving spirit, which I know You very much have, a true love for God and a desire to be in His will. The people who find fault with you;there is usually something in their own life that is an unresolved issue! God created you as a very unique, special, loving soul who has many talents that are to be used to glorify Him and bless others. Stand up and shout,I am just like you, just have a litle more stress!LOL Love ya, be yourself, and they can't help but love you!!!

  2. I know exactly how you feel. I, too, am a PK and know what people expected me to know and be. I do feel what you feel.

    Jamie @ Dear Diary...

  3. I am a PK, too.
    Know who you are and what your gifts are.
    Work mainly in your gifting. Sometimes we all have to pitch in to fill in gaps. But most of the time you should work within your gifted area.
    Let your vulnerablity show...but not flow. You know how it feels to have to be "the example." I'm sure you already work to guard your children in this area. Think of all the times you have been let down by people, but you "got over it and still love them." People will do the same for you. If they don't, let God deal with that.
    I went back and read your "preacher's wife" post so maybe this comment is directed more to that.
    Well...your hair still looks good. :)
    I think you're great!


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