What is it about us that makes us think we are self-sufficient. Going around saying ridiculous things like: "I don't need any help"(when in reality we are completely overwhelmed), or "I'm doing fine"! (when 5 minutes before we picked up the phone we were face down sobbing.
When did we learn to pretend?
As I have watched my children grow one of the things that perplexes me is the Independence I see from them. Some of their first words were "I do it myself". No, you really can't climb that big slide by your little self. No, your little arms can't reach back there to wipe. No, I need to hold your hand to cross the street. If they could only see they could hurt themselves.
We can see how absurd that sounds from a child. But we do the same thing. Why do we need to "Do it ourselves", "Go it alone", "Be Superhuman".
To just Smile, Smile, Smile!
When I do that who am I really hurting?
Not just because of the obvious reason, I can't. But the darker ugly word
The first sin. It was pride that made Lucifer fall from heaven. It was pride that caused woman to eat the fruit. It is pride that makes me say "all by myself".
I have bought into the thinking that no one wants to know my stuff. They will turn and run if I become emotional or say what I really need. And the truth is, there are people like that. But then I have friends that have seen me at my worst and still love me--Rare gems I know!
It's about me being willing to acknowledge that I do need the help of those around me. That I can't "do it myself". I need friends. I need community. I need a shoulder to cry on some days.
I have been thinking about some of those people who I have learned from and who have helped me on the journey. Forgive me I know I will forget many.
Where would I be without:
My mother who gave me life and cared for me so faithfully.And who, among many other things demonstrated the gift of hospitality.
The doctor who delivered me and saved my life.(I was blue upon arrival)
My grandma who taught me graciousness.
My brothers who taught me to stand up for myself
My sister who I idolized as a young girl.
My dad who would continually bring me up on stage for yet another song.
My church who let him
My Sunday School teachers who sacrificed time to teach me countless Bible stories and memory verses.
My friend Jana who was one of my first best friends and taught me all kinds of things that I won't share here today:)
The traveling Evangelist who stayed in our home for a week of meetings and who spoke words of kindness to an awkward, acne infested middle schooler.
My 11th grade Bible teacher who encouraged me to stand up for what I believe in.
My friend Dawn who showed me acceptance and friendship in a brand new school where I knew not one living soul.
My friend Melissa who let me be me the year we lived together in Ohio.
My youth pastor whom I sought for counsel and advice.
My music director from college who once called me just to tell me "you have what it takes".
My uncle Dale who shows me every day that life is a gift and that often it's the least of these who teach us the most.
My friend Bethany who I love like a sister and who constantly challenges me to be more accepting of others just by watching her.
My neighbor Delila who is an inspiration to me in the kitchen,garden, house cleaning, anything that has to do with the domestic.
My Small group who encourage me in my faith.I love you guys!
My kids teachers, all of them, are pouring so much into the lives of my little people and I am so grateful.
My friend Tammy, who makes me laugh
My new friends, you know who you are, who make my life exciting and richer...my motto is: I can never have enough friends...there are so many people, so little time.
My church, who came through for me during one of the biggest crisis of my life.
My in laws, who I love as if they were outlaws.:)kidding! I'm kidding... siblings
My brother and sister in-law, who I look to for parenting advice.
My friends Rusty and Lynette, who make missions look like a fun adventure and who love people well.
My nieces and nephews, who I love as if they were my own.
My Mentor,Beth Moore, who doesn't know anything about me but has walked in her anointing and changed my life through her insights.
My friend Rolanda who is such a great listener.
My mentor Myrna, who is now with Jesus, she showed me how to be gracious and determined even in the face of death.
My friend Julie who has taught me what a quiet spirit looks like.
My childhood friends,who loved me in spite of my bad hair, slumber party tricks, and my strong affection for boys.
My kiddos who show me how to look at the world through a different lens; who teach me humility; who give me the love and strength to give my best to this thing called mothering; who always forgive me even when I mess up royally; who keep me on my knees.
My husband, the love of my life who, too, forgives me over and over, who cheers me on, who loves my cooking, who let's me be my own person,who fixes anything that needs fixing, who doesn't complain when he doesn't have socks in his drawer, and after 15 years still tells me he loves me.
That's a couple I thought of right off the top of my head. Maybe I will think of more tomorrow, and do a sequel.
Without the grace of God I would be lost, and without his people I would be too.
It's good for me to stop and remember that!
So next time someone asks me if I need help I may just let them.
After all I'm going to need a new list for my sequel!